Dream Splatter
by CSIMel
Summary: NCIS & Napoleon Dynamite Crossover. Napoleon Dynamite, at 'The Holy Nacho' with a 12 gauge. Add Gibbs and the NCIS crew and you've got trouble. Confused? Gosh! [Tateish undertones]
1. Prologue

**DREAM SPLATTER**

**Disclaimer: Don't own NCIS or Napoleon Dynamite. This story is only testimony to why I should 'not' own it.**

**Rating: G, totally harmless, gosh!**

**A/N: Believe it or not readers, but this is not the first time I have delved into the world of crime show/Napoleon Dynamite crossovers. My first (and unsuccessful) attempt was a CSI Miami and Napoleon Dynamite crossover. Insane stuff. So, I introduce to you my, dum dum dum – NCIS/Napoleon Dynamite crossover 'Dream Splatter'. Read at your own risk and I hope you enjoy.

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PROLOGUE

Don Parker. That guy had caused him nothing but pain over the years. He beat him up; he tormented him continuously since elementary school. He tied him to the tetherball pole, which had resulted in both a phobia and uncontrollable anger towards it. A phobia/anger that had torn his world to shreds and cost him his dream of joining the army. Well, it wasn't a dream, but he really like the boots and someone had told him he could get them for free if he enlisted. Besides, since he broke up with Deb, he'd though a change of scenery would be good.

Deb. How he missed her soft face and collection of boon-daggle key chains. When he left the horrors of Miami behind, Deb had been the ray of sunlight in his cloud-filled existence. Since high school she had become a political photographer and was internationally renown for her work. He had his own business; he ran hunting tours just outside of Norfolk and ran a dance studio, teaching his kick-ass moves. His friend Pedro lived nearby and owned a Mexican restaurant called 'The Holy Nacho'.

But that was in the past. Now he had nothing. No girlfriend, no best friend and his hunting business had gone under. Sure, he still had his dance school, but with the way his luck way going, who knew how long? The one thing that could've made his freakin' existence a bit better was joining the army. Somehow, Don even managed to screw things up. After failing the psych test and his interview had been less than perfect, he was running out of options. He didn't was to move back in with Kip and Lafawnduh – that was the last thing he wanted to do. So there was only one option – get back at Don.

* * *

"_Did you see that? He shoved a penguin in his mouth!"_

Don laughed, taking a bite of cake his wife had made earlier.

"Whoa! He did not just do that!" Don laughed at the screen.

Don heard a click and spun to face the kitchen. He was the outline of someone hovering in the shadows.

"Honey, is that you?" Don asked.

The figure emerged from the shadows.

"Honey-"

He paused.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

Don heard a small click.

"See ya." The voice whispered.

_BANG!_

"Idiot."


	2. Chapter One: Enter NCIS

**CHAPTER ONE – ENTER NCIS**

**Disclaimer: Still no owney.**

**A/N: That right, two chapters in one day. The first was just a teaser, this chapter, as the title suggests, introduces the NCIS crew. WARNING: Twilight denial (_still_) equals Ziva denial. This story features Kate, not Ziva. Enjoy!

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"What have we got, boss?" Tony asked as he hoped out the M.E. van, field kit in hand.

Gibbs stood impatiently a the door, coffee in hand as the rest of his team surrounded him.

"Major Don Parker, 31," Gibbs answered, "wife discovered the body when she came home and the neighbours remember hearing a loud bang around one a.m."

"How'd he die?" Kate asked.

"McGee, I want you to take statements from the neighbours," Gibbs ordered, "Kate, go talk to the wife, see how much she knows," Gibbs looked directly at Tony, "you're coming with me."

As Kate and McGee headed in their separated directions, Gibbs turned to face Tony.

"I'm going to warn you, DiNozzo," Gibbs said softly, "that what you're going to see in there is not pretty."

"Boss, I used to be a homicide cop," DiNozzo grinned, as they entered the house, "there's not much that…oh my God!"

"As a matter of fact, Anthony, that was very similar to my reaction," Ducky replied, "this young man reminds me of a victim I examined about twenty years ago, who, to his great misfortune had a spear…"

"Ducky," Gibbs interrupted, "how'd he die?"

"Oh," Ducky paused, "this poor fellow was shot, died instantly."

"A huge wound for a gunshot," Tony observed, taking photos, "and there's blood splatter everywhere."

"I believe he was killed by some sort of hunting rifle, or shot gun," Ducky mused, "In my younger days I went on a hunting expedition to Alaska, in search for wolves, or 'wolverines' as we called them. If I can recall correctly, we used a 12-gauge."

"We'll have Abby look into it," Gibbs said, looking around. He stopped at a spot in the wall about three centimetres deep. Gibbs grabbed some tweezers from the kit he was carrying and pulled out a bullet.

"I found some hair stuck to the door frame," Tony called out, "redish-brown. Both the victim and his wife are blonde."

"Abby's going to have a field day."

* * *

"Mrs Parker, hello, I'm Agent Todd, NCIS," Kate introduced herself.

"Please, call me Summer," the woman said emotionlessly, "and it's Mrs Wheatley, I kept my maiden name."

Kate nodded and jotted it in her palm pilot.

"I'm sorry for you loss," Kate said softly.

Summer gave Kate a forced smile.

"Thank-you, I really appreciate it."

"I have to ask you a few questions about last night, if that's alright?"

Summer nodded.

"Were you home last night?" Kate asked.

"No," Summer shook her head, "every Wednesday night I go out with some of the wives from the base."

"What time did you get home?"

"About forty minutes ago," Summer answered, "I stayed over at my friend Trisha's house. Don had to get up early some days and I didn't want to wake him when I got home."

"Do you know if your husband knew anyone who would want to hurt him?" Kate asked delicately.

"No!" Summer exclaimed, "Don was well-liked around the base and at work. He was that sort of guy. Really nice to everyone."

"Could he have had enemies from before you two met?" Kate questioned.

"No, I've known him since high school," Summer answered, "back then, there were some kids that hated him, but it was high school, you know."

"Anyone you knew in high school that could be capable of murder?" Kate asked.

Summer stood there, thinking. Kate handed her a notepad and pen.

"If you think of anyone, write it down," Kate said softly. She walked over to McGee. "Any luck?"

"Nope," McGee shook his head, "most of the neighbours confirm they were awoken about one a.m. to a loud bang. Apparently the Parkers fight a lot, so they didn't take much notice. No one saw the shooter."

"How's Mrs Parker?" Gibbs asked, exiting the house.

"'Mrs Wheatley' is in shook, which is understandable." Kate answered, "She was out with friends last night, so she doesn't know anything. She's writing down some possible suspects at the moment."

"Is that the wife?" Tony interrupted.

Kate rolled her eyes.

"Yes, Tony, that's the recently deceased Major's widow."

"She's hot!" Tony stated, either ignoring or oblivious to Kate's references.

Gibbs hit Tony across the head.

"Let's get back to the lab," Gibbs said, "before I shoot someone."

"Yes boss."

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**A/N: hope you liked that. Hit the friendly review button if you did.**

**Reviews make the world go 'round!**


	3. Chapter Two: A Giant Freakin

**CHAPTER TWO – A GIANT FREAKIN' JIGSAW**

**A/N: The third instalment of 'Dream Splatter'. Read at your own risk.

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Back at NCIS headquarters, it was business as usual. Ducky was examining the body, Abby was investigating the evidence and Tony, well, he wasn't doing anything.

"Tony, why is it that McGee and I end up doing most of the work while you goof off all day?" Kate demanded.

"I don't know," Tony answered, "but it's pretty good – hello there…"

Kate and McGee looked over to where Tony was staring.

It was Summer Wheatley, the Major's wife.

"Mrs Wheatley," Kate greeting her, "How-"

"Can we help you?" Tony cut her off, flashing the woman a smile.

"Um, hello," Summer said, a bit taken back, "I have a list that may help with your investigation,"

"List?" Tony questioned.

Kate elbowed Tony.

"The list of people who could've possibly wanted to hurt Major Parker." Kate glared at him.

"Yeah," Summer looked at them both quizzically, "here's the list."

Tony and Kate looked at the list.

"That's a pretty long list," Tony whistled.

"Yeah, well, Don had a lot on enemies in high school," Summer explained, "he was a, well…bully."

"Is that so?" Tony asked, leaning towards Summer, "was it hard being married to a man so – domineering?"

"Thank you for your assistance, Mrs Wheatley," Kate interrupted, "if we have any more questions, we'll let you know."

Once Summer Wheatley was out of earshot, Kate exploded.

"What is your problem, Tony?" Kate demanded, "Her husband had been dead for less than 24 hours and you're already hitting on her?"

"I can't help it!" Tony exclaimed, "Sometimes I forget!"

"Forget what, DiNozzo?" Gibbs asked.

"Nothing boss."

"Abby wants to see us in the lab," Gibbs said, motioning for the lift.

As the McGee and Kate entered, Gibbs stopped Tony with a slap to the back of the head.

"What was that for?" Tony cried, rubbing his head.

"I think you know."

* * *

"Well, I've got good news and I've got bad news," Abby greeted as they entered the lab.

"This doesn't sound good," Kate sighed.

"On the contrary, Katie," Tony said, "it sounds 'half good' or 'half bad' depending on how you view the glass."

"Can we let Abby speak?" Gibbs snapped.

"Sorry boss."

"So I ran the DNA tag I managed to get off the hair sample you gave me and I came up with a match."

Abby pointed to a large screen.

"Introducing Napoleon Dynamite, 31 years old, lives just outside of D.C with a killer red fro' which is a hit with the ladies."

McGee, Tony and Kate burst out laughing.

"You've got to be kidding, Abs," Kate chuckled.

"What?" Abby asked innocently, "I'd hit that."

The lab went silent. After a moment or two, Gibbs spoke up.

"So what's the bad news?"

"I can't access the file," Abby sighed frowning.

"Can't you break into it, or something?" Gibbs asked.

"Hack it, and no," Abby replied, "it's red flagged."

"Open FBI case file." Gibbs slammed his fist on the table. "Call Fornell and get him-"

"You know, I hate it when NCIS messes with my investigations," Fornell said, standing in the doorway looking slightly amused.

"Elevator. Now." Gibbs snapped stalking off in the direction of the elevator.

Once in the elevator, Fornell hit the 'up' button. Gibbs pressed the emergency stop.

"What the hell is going on, Fornell?" Gibbs demanded, "Are you trying to piss me off?"

"I could ask you the same thing!" Fornell snapped. "I'm asking you just this once to stay out of one of the FBI's investigations!"

"What's it got to do with Napoleon Dynamite?" Gibbs asked.

"You've heard of the 'Notebook Killers'?" Fornell questioned.

"They're the guys that stalk their targets and leave a notebook of their surveillance at the scene, right?"

"Right," Fornell agreed, "We've found a weak link in their operation. Kip Dynamite."

"What is he? Dealer, murderer, delivery guy…"

"Notebook maker." Fornell answered, "We've been watching the guy for months – so far all we've seen him do is make the notebooks. We're not even sure he knows why he's making them, but he's our weak link and we're hoping he'll lead us to some of the more…prominent members."

"And Napoleon Dynamite is his brother," Gibbs finished, "and by interrogating him, Kip might get suspicious and in turn the 'Notebook Killers' would get suspicious, eventually cutting their ties with Kip – ruining your investigation."

"I knew you'd understand, Gibbs," Fornell sighed.

"I'll tell you about my investigation, Fornell," Gibbs said in a dangerously low tone, "down in autopsy I have a dead soldier, shot with a hunting rifle, a hysterical wife and our only evidence links us to a suspect we're not allowed to investigate because it might 'hurt' the FBI's investigation."

"What do you want, Gibbs?" Fornell sighed.

"Access to Napoleon Dynamite's file, I don't care about the brother," Gibbs answered.

"You are not to mention Kip under any circumstances," Fornell warned.

"Wasn't planning to," Gibbs replied.

"You have yourself a deal," Fornell said, starting the elevator again.

"Pleasure doing business with you."

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**A/N: Hope you were at least mildly entertained.**

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	4. Chapter Three: Retarded

**RETARDED**

**A/N: A few days between updates, not bad, not bad at all. Thank you to all who have reviewed and those who aren't reviewing but reading – you know who you are! Jokes aside, this chapter finally features everyone's favourite hero – Napoleon Dynamite! Yeah! Anyhoo, enjoy and REVIEW!!!

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"And we're in!" Abby cheered, as the team gathered around the big screen.

Gibbs had returned a few minutes ago, looking slightly red, but a smirk on his face. He had won.

"Napoleon Dynamite, 31, ­­­­­­­from Preston, Idaho. Three years ago he was the prime suspect in the murder of his Uncle, Rico Dynamite. Cleared, death was accidental." Abby read.

"Moved to D.C," Kate continued, "Owns a dancing studio – teaches, and I quote, 'old school hip-hop'…this is interesting, he used to run hunting tours, but the business went under."

"That could explain the 12-gauge," Tony suggested.

"Click on the link for Military records," Gibbs commanded.

"Says he wasn't actually in the military, but he enlisted," Kate noted, "He passed the fitness, failed the psych and was also turned away upon the recommendation of Major Don Parker."

"That give Napoleon Dynamite motive," McGee said.

"A hell of a lot of motive," Gibbs stated, "Time we had a talk to this Dynamite character."

* * *

"Wow." Kate said.

"I know what you mean." Tony agreed.

"He is, perhaps, even weirder looking in real life," Kate mused.

Sitting in the interrogation room was Napoleon Dynamite. The tall, gangly man with the red 'fro wore a bored expression and a T-Shirt with a unicorn on it. On his feet was a pair of moon boots.

"I'm not surprised Don used to pick on him – I mean, he's a grown man wearing a shirt with a unicorn on it!" Tony exclaimed.

"I think it's cute…" Kate said, causing Tony to stare at her in horror, "if you're a five year old girl!"

The pair high-fived.

"Are you two finished?" Gibbs demanded, entering the room, "this is an interrogation, not comedy hour!"

"Sorry boss."

"Sorry Gibbs."

Gibbs entered the interrogation room.

"Napoleon Dynamite?"

The man looked down at the desk.

"Who's asking?"

"I'm Special Agent Gibbs, NCIS – Naval–" Gibbs was interrupted.

"I know who you are – I do have the Internet, Gosh! Idiot!" Napoleon did a weird head action.

"I have a few questions about Don Parker, you know him?" Gibbs asked.

"Yeah, I hated that guy! He can go eat a decrodent piece of crap for all I care!" Napoleon yelled.

Gibbs smirked at the young man.

"Then it would please you to know that he's dead."

"Can't say he didn't deserve it," Napoleon shrugged.

"So you did it?" Gibbs asked.

"What?" Napoleon demanded.

"You killed him."

"I didn't freaking do it, gosh!" Napoleon cried, doing the weird head movement again.

"But didn't he ruin your chances for a career in the military?" Gibbs questioned, "To me, that seems like a good reason to kill him."

"I wanted to egg his house or key his car, I didn't want him dead! Idiots!"

"You use 12-gauges on your hunting tours, you have a licence for them," Gibbs stated.

"Yeah, so?" Napoleon snapped.

"Major Parker was killed with a 12-gauge and you're hair was found at his house, that's a pretty big coincidence," Gibbs mused.

"I didn't kill him, I don't even know where he lives!" Napoleon yelled.

"Why do I not believe you, Napoleon," Gibbs said softly.

"I don't know, Gosh!" Napoleon burst out, grabbing his chap stick from his pocket.

Gibbs knocked it out of his hand, sending it flying across the room.

"Listen here," Gibbs said in a dangerously low voice, "I have a dead Major in my custody, and so far all the evidence points to you. I don't think you understand how deep you're actually in, and a judge can easily get you convicted. Now, if you're as innocent as you claim to be, start talking!"

"I swear on my Uncle Rico's grave, that I didn't do it! I don't know how my hair got at the scene and I don't know how one of my guns was used as the murder weapon. I haven't touched one since my business went under!" Napoleon exclaimed.

"When did you lose your business?" Gibbs questioned.

"About three months ago," Napoleon sighed sadly.

"Why?"

"Some people on my tours were shooting some sort of endangered bird or something," Napoleon said, "and because I failed to recognise this I got my hunting licence suspended – freaking idiots!"

"Do you have a storage shed for your guns?" Gibbs asked, jotting down some notes.

"In my garage, which I keep locked."

"Can it be accessed from the house?" Gibbs asked.

"Of course it can, gosh!" Napoleon moved his head suddenly to the side.

"This man has a serious attitude problem," Kate shook her head.

"I know," Tony whispered, "look at how Gibbs is gripping his coffee cup – any tighter and he would crush it."

"Where were you between 12 am and 2 am this morning?" Gibbs demanded.

"This dance club – 'Street Beat'," Napoleon answered.

"Any witnesses?"

"I was with LaFawnduh's cousins- Petey, Pauley, Penny and Joe." Napoleon snapped, "Look, can I get my Chap Stick, my lips hurt real bad."

Gibbs ignored his request.

"We're done here."

"Can I go?" Napoleon asked surprised.

"That's what I said," Gibbs snapped, leaving the room.

He paused when he reached Tony and Kate.

"One of you show him out," Gibbs ordered, "if I have to deal with that man – I'll…"

"We're on it, boss," Tony and Kate said, eager to meet the weirdo.

Tony and Kate entered the interrogation room, greeted by Napoleon applying a coat of Chap Stick.

"Want some?" he offered.

"Pass." Kate grimaced.

Napoleon followed the two to the elevator.

"So, just take the elevator to the Ground Level, then you're free," Tony joked.

Napoleon ignored him, staring at Kate.

"You have an interesting face," Napoleon turned to Kate.

"Um, thanks," Kate said.

Tony stifled a laugh.

"I'd love to draw you sometime – the shading would be awesome!" Napoleon exclaimed.

"That's a sweet offer, but no thanks," Kate answered.

"How about dinner?"

Tony started coughing hysterically.

"I'm sorry, but I can't date people involved in our investigation," Kate explained.

"Well, if you change your mind…" Napoleon handed her a card, "here's my number. See ya."

Kate looked at the card. It had his home, work, mobile, fax, e-mail and World of Warcraft user name. It also had a picture of a liger.

"Are you going to go out with him?" Tony laughed.

"The day I go out with him, is the day I go out with you, Tony," Kate glared at him.

"You're going out with him," Gibbs interrupted.

"What, Gibbs!" Kate exclaimed.

"You will go out with him and try to get some more information, understood?"

"Yes, Gibbs." Kate sighed.

"Should I pick you up Friday, Katie?" Tony grinned.

"Shut up, Tony."

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**A/N: Please review! Your reviews make an emo kid smile!**


	5. Chapter Four: Mrs Kate Dynamite

**Mrs Kate Dynamite**

**A/N: Yeah, it's been awhile, I know and I'm sorry. I just got busy with Xmas and New Year and this fic took a back seat to everything I had going on. Here's the next chapter, enjoy.

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"I can't believe I'm doing this!" Kate exclaimed, pacing up and down the bullpen.

"Here," Abby placed a necklace around Kate's neck, "There's a microphone hidden in the pendant, so don't say anything embarrassing."

"Hilarious, Abby," Kate said dryly.

"Woah, Katie," Tony whistled, "you sure clean up nicely."

"Shut up, Tony," Kate glared at him.

"What restaurant did he pick?" Tony asked.

"Some fancy Mexican place, 'The Holy Nacho'," Kate answered, "you heard of it?"

"Yeah, it's downtown, the foods pretty good," Tony shrugged.

Kate adjusted the strap on her simple red dress. The dress was fancy enough, but she didn't want to give him the wrong impression.

The elevator dinged and out stepped Napoleon Dynamite.

In a brown, polyester suit.

"Hot suit," Abby mused.

"Oh my God," Kate muttered.

"Have fun!" Tony grinned.

Kate glared at him and greeted Napoleon.

"Hey," he said, not meeting her eyes. He held out a parcel. "I brought you a delicious bass."

Kate forced a smile and accepted the fish. She passed it to Tony.

"How about you go and put it in the fridge or something, DiNozzo," Kate smiled fakely.

"See you," Napoleon said as he and Kate stepped into the elevator.

Abby and Tony burst out laughing.

A few minutes later, McGee entered the bullpen.

"Well?" Abby demanded, jumping up and down.

"They're gone," McGee stated.

"Well, what are we waiting for?" Tony shrugged. He raised his fist triumphantly, "To 'The Holy Nacho'!"

"To 'The Holy Nacho'!"

* * *

As Kate entered the restaurant, she was greeted by the tunes of a Mariachi band. They walked up to the Hostess' podium.

"Ah, Señor Dynamite, so good to see you. Your usual table?" the woman greeted him.

"Yeah."

"No Deb tonight?" the woman asked, curious.

"Deb's no longer my woman," Napoleon stared at the ground, "she never wants to see me again."

"I'm sorry to hear that, Señor Dynamite," the Hostess sympathised. "I'll walk you to your table."

Once Napoleon and Kate were seated, he turned to face her.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you about Deb," he mumbled.

"That's fine," Kate smiled, "we haven't known each other long enough to know these things."

"I just didn't want you to get jealous," Napoleon explained.

Kate choked on her water.

"Um," she said, changing the subject, "if you don't mind me asked, why did you two break up."

"Right after my business went under," he explained, "Deb was trying to make me feel better. I got angry and told her to 'eat a decrodent piece of crap'. Then she called me a jerk and I told her to 'get out of my life and shut up'. Sadly for me, she did."

"I'm…sorry." Kate said uncertainly.

"That's okay," Napoleon shrugged, "we're together now.

Again, Kate choked on her water.

Laughter erupted from a near-by table.

"Hey, Napoleon."

Kate turned her attention to the man. He looked of Mexican origin and had a moustache.

"Hey," Napoleon greeted, "Kate, this is my best friend Pedro Sanchez. He owns 'The Holy Nacho'. Pedro, this is my woman, Kate Todd. She works for NCIS."

More laughter from the near-by table.

"Nice to meet you," Kate grimaced.

"She's investigating Don's murder," Napoleon said.

"Oh," Pedro answered, uncomfortable, "I have to go."

He ran off.

"Why is he so nervous?" Kate asked.

"Because he's dating Summer, Gosh!" Napoleon exclaimed.

"So, Summer Wheatley was having an affair with Pedro?" Kate questioned.

"I shouldn't have said that," Napoleon stared at the ground.

"If Pedro – "

"Napoleon?"

Kate turned to see who had interrupted her.

A woman with brown hair, wearing a light pink dress was standing over the two, arms folded.

"I can't believe I actually came down here to see if we could get back together. I knew this was a mistake!" Deb exclaimed.

"Deb, I can explain!"

"What's to explain?" Deb shouted, "You've moved on – to some tramp in red!"

"Excuse me!" Kate cried.

"We're only discussing business, Deb!" Napoleon yelled.

"Oh yeah," Deb snapped, "like how much you're going to pay her!"

"You hang on just a moment – "

"I was only using her to make you jealous!"

"Okay, I'm done!" Kate yelled. "No investigation is this important! First off, no one is going to be 'using me', second, I'm not a prostitute, for crying out loud! And third, this dress is 'smart/elegant' not 'trashy'. And here's some advice; don't have children. The world's not ready for more Dynamites'."

Kate stormed off towards the exit. She stopped at a nearby table.

"Abby, Tony, McGee – we're going."

The two Agents and forensic scientist stood silently and followed her out the door.

Kate shook her head angrily.

"I can't believe she said I was 'trashy'!"

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**A/N: Hope you had as much fun reading it as I did writing it. I love indignant Kate – she's so much fun to write! **

**Your reviews make an emo kid smile :D**


	6. Chaper Five: Too Hot To Handle

**Too Hot To Handle**

**Disclaimer: **Don't own NCIS or Napoleon Dynamite. Gosh!

**A/N: **I should've finished this ages ago, I know, and I'm sorry. But here's the second last part. Only one to go.

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"What did we find out?" Gibbs demanded, entering the bullpen.

"Kate looks like a prostitute," Tony offered.

Kate glared at him.

"Summer was having an affair with Pedro Sanchez, owner of 'The Holy Nacho'."

"No priors," McGee read, "but his brothers have ties with several Mexican gangs."

"Major Parker's death shows no signs of being gang related." Kate stated.

"Jethro, I found something peculiar," Ducky interrupted, exiting the elevator. He held up a clear container.

"Where'd you find this?" Gibbs demanded.

"In his hair, of all places," Ducky answered, "too large to be placed there accidentally, I'd say it occurred post-mortem."

Tony, Kate and McGee looked at the contents of the container.

A nacho.

"Some sort of calling card, perhaps?" Ducky suggested.

"Kate, I want you to bring Pedro in for questioning," Gibbs ordered, "McGee, search his home – I need that gun. Tony, talk to the wife. I need to know about their affair and what she knows about Pedro Sanchez."

"On it boss."

"I hope this Pedro Sanchez knows what sort of Holy mess he's gotten himself into."

* * *

"Is this about Napoleon?" Pedro asked, "Because I know he wouldn't kill anyone."

"How long have you been having an affair with Summer Wheatley?" Gibbs questioned.

"Eight months," Pedro answered, confused, "what does that have to do with Napoleon."

"Nothing," Gibbs answered, "it has to do with you." Gibbs showed Pedro a picture. "Ever seen one of these before?"

"Yes," Pedro stared at the photo, "it's a nacho."

"This nacho was found it the dead Major's hair." Gibbs stated, "I believe it was placed there after he was shot with your friend's 12-guage."

"And you think I placed it there?" Pedro asked.

Gibbs simply stared at him.

"I didn't do it! I –"

Pedro was interrupted by the ringing of Gibb's phone.

He flipped it open angrily.

"Gibbs."

There was a pause.

"Good job."

Gibbs hung up.

"I've just been informed by one of my Agents that Napoleon Dynamite's missing 12-guage has been found in your back garden," Gibbs stated, leaning close to the young man, "want to adjust your story?"

"About a month ago, Summer told me she needed to borrow a hunting rifle – she was going hunting with some friends," Pedro explained, "I told her she could borrow one from Napoleon, but she didn't want anyone to know we were together. I snuck one out of his garage – a 12-guage. As far as I knew, Summer still had it."

"Where were you two nights ago?" Gibbs asked.

"Every Wednesday night, Summer and I go out – she usually stays the night, if you know what I mean."

"I know what you mean," Gibbs smirked, "was there anything different about this Wednesday night?"

"At about 12:30, she drove off," Pedro said, "she didn't say where she was going; she just left. At 1:30, I heard her car pull in and she went back to bed."

"Mrs Wheatley told us she spends Wednesday nights with friends," Gibbs told Pedro.

"That's her cover story," Pedro replied, "do you think Summer killed Don?"

"Do you?"

* * *

"Mrs Wheatley, thank you for agreeing to speak with me," Tony smiled, taking a seat on the sofa.

"It's Summer, Agent DiNozzo," Summer corrected, "and I'm happy to help in any way I can to find my husband's killer."

"We just have a few questions about Pedro Sanchez," Tony explained.

"Okay," she answered hesitantly, "I don't know him very well, but I'll try."

"We know you were having an affair with him," Tony stated.

Summer sighed.

"Okay, I was. Is that illegal?"

"No," Tony chuckled, "no it's not. How long have you known Pedro Sanchez?"

"Since high school," Summer answered, "we didn't really 'hang', but we knew each other."

"So you two weren't romantically involved?"

"In high school?" Summer laughed, "He baked me a cake once, but I turned him down."

"Okay…" Tony replied, puzzled, "when did you guys meet again?"

"Eight months ago," Summer answered, "some of the wives and I went to a restaurant downtown – 'The Holy Nacho'. It turned out Pedro owned it. Things kind took off from there."

"Have you ever known or considered him to be dangerous?" Tony asked.

"No, God no!" Summer exclaimed, "You think Pedro killed Don? I thought Napoleon did it – you found his hair and everything!"

"How'd you know about the hair?" Tony questioned.

"Ah," Summer paused, "Agent…Todd told me."

Tony nodded, unconvinced.

"Could I use your restroom, please?" He asked.

"Down the hall, first door on the right," Summer directed him.

Tony made his way to the bathroom, locking the door behind him. He dialled a number on his cell.

"Gibbs, it's Tony."

_What did you find?_

"The wife knew about the hair at the scene, boss, which is impossible because we never released that information. I asked her how she knew about it and she claimed Kate told her, which we know Kate wouldn't do."

_Pedro claims she asked him to 'borrow' a 12-guage from Dynamite for a hunting trip. Also, there are inconsistencies with her alibi at the time of Major Parker's death._

"Did you find the gun?"

_Yes, prints on the gun match Summer's._

"Do you want me to make the arrest?"

_No. Stay there and wait for us._

Gibbs hung up.

"It would be easier if I just arrested her now," Tony muttered.

He opened the bathroom door.

On the other side was Summer Wheatley.

Holding a gun to his head.

"Do what I say and maybe I won't blow your brains out."

* * *

**A/N: **Hope you enjoyed it. Reviews make me smile. 


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